Child being bullied at school!
But at school, a little person receives not only knowledge, but also the experience of communication in a team. Unfortunately, relationships with classmates do not always work out smoothly. According to the latest data, every fourth student becomes an object of bullying by other students. Moreover, we should be particularly concerned about this - cases of bullying teenagers in Russia are recorded much more often than in European countries.
Bullying - bullying, bullying against a child by a group of classmates or a similar phenomenon among workers, military personnel. Mobbing - collective or individual actions aimed at discrediting a work colleague
Problems with peers can occur in a child in kindergarten and elementary school. However, at this age there is still no cohesion of the team, and attempts to offend another child are not systemic. By the third class, there is a so-called public opinion, with which the child wants it or not, but he must reckon with it. By the age of 10–11 years, understanding of how to behave in a particular children's team takes on a stable form. It is at this age that schoolchildren actively seek to find their place in the group, to gain authority and respect from classmates. This creates an atmosphere of competition, which often provokes the emergence of regular harassment of one or more members of the class. Psychologists call this phenomenon bullying. Most often, aggressive persecution is expressed in the form of insults, threats, or, conversely, complete disregard for the victim, as well as physical harm (beating, damage to property). The accessibility of the Internet has contributed to the emergence of a kind of systematic harassment such as cyberbullying. A study conducted in France in early 2012 showed that one in four schoolchildren has experienced peer bullying online. Cyberhuligans act on the victim by frequent electronic messages and SMS. An Internet attack is always sudden, therefore it produces a strong psychological impact on the victim. Not knowing the persecutor in person, the victim feels that the offender is likely to be in the immediate environment. And begins to fear aggression from all friends. First of all, from classmates, which enhances the feeling of insecurity of a teenager in an educational institution.
The spirit of time
The recent trend is to upload bullying, shot on a mobile phone, to social networks and to free video hosting sites: a shocking real video is shot where children show their “coolness” to the world. According to the psychologist teacher KGOU ЦО 57 and the author of the book about bullying problems “Outcasts” Marina Kravtsova: “Through attracting public attention, adolescents satisfy the need for self-affirmation. Like, look at what we are capable of. In addition, in this way one more goal is achieved - to publicly humiliate the victim "for the whole world." And since today there is a great sense of general impunity, teenagers do not even think about the consequences for themselves. ” According to experts, bullying is primarily one of the manifestations of a boyish subculture. According to statistics, boys resort to bullying peers 2-3 times more often than girls. Much less common are cases of harassment of girls by boys, boys by girls, and girls by girls. However, recently, more and more often, girls are acting as active and no less cruel aggressors. Sociologists believe that this was made possible due to the weakening of the role differences in the behavior of men and women.
According to 1,200 children who answered questions from Kidspoll portal, 48% were subjected to bullying, including 15% more than once, while 42% were involved in it, 20% more than once.
As a rule, a number of actors take part in bullying: • instigators, • persecutors, • victims, • observers. One or two fellow practitioners are usually the initiators of bullying a child. They begin to ridicule the victim, tease, defiantly not accept the game, bully or ignore. The instigator's goal is to assert itself and stand out in the team. Much less often is personal revenge. Often the instigators are children who claim to be the class leader, striving to be in the spotlight. According to a study by Western psychologist Dan Olveus, among boys aged 12-16, the proportion of aggressors is about 5%. Most often they come from wealthy and wealthy families! Persecutors are children who, under the guidance of instigators, engage in bullying. They laugh at the victim, pick up insulting nicknames and blame the outcast along with the instigators. Most of these guys do cruelty, obeying the herd feeling, wanting to earn approval from the leader. Some do this out of boredom, while others do so out of fear of being at the victim’s place themselves. Persecutors are described as cowardly, easily influenced, self-centered, irresponsible and insecure teenagers. Observers do not interfere with bullying. But, having no spirit to resist aggressors, they encourage harassment by silence and inaction. Sometimes there are children in the school team trying to protect the victim. The appearance of a defender can make a difference, especially if he has authority or does not stand alone against bullying. As practice shows, in this case the persecution most often ends. However, it happens that the defender himself turns into a bullying object. And then, in order to change the state of affairs, he begins to take an active part in taming the outcast.
Who is at risk?
Often the object of persecution is physically weak, anxious, timid and lonely children. To the psychological characteristics of the victim of bullying, experts include: • physical disabilities and diseases that negatively affect the appearance or manifest themselves as “embarrassing” consequences (like enuresis), • unsuccessful studies, • often skipping classes, • overly patronized by parents, • inadequately evaluating (possessing either too high or low self-esteem), • those who do not want to abide by the rules and hierarchy in the team. A gifted child can also become an outcast. A survey among talented American eighth-graders showed that 67% of them have been harassed by classmates over the years of study.
How to fix the situation
Alas, the child does not always tell parents that he is offended by peers. Someone thinks that adults will not take the problem seriously. Others believe that they will not try to do anything. Still others fear that intervention will only worsen the situation - torturers will severely punish the scammer. Having learned about the bullying of their child, some parents try not to interfere in the conflict and only advise how to fix the situation. Experts believe that alone the victim will not be able to change the prevailing stereotype of the group’s behavior. Therefore, adult intervention and comprehensive work, in which both child victims and their parents, teachers and the whole class should take part, are necessary. In developed countries, the problem of bullying has long been dealt with not only by scientists, but also by the legislative authorities. Dozens of national and international sites and funds to help victims of bullying have been created. Specialists consult on bullying prevention and develop special programs. Currently, about 12 preventive programs are recognized as effective, the most famous and widely implemented of which is the psychologist Dan Olveus. Since 2001, they began to use it in Norwegian schools, which allowed not only to reduce cases of aggressive persecution by 30–50%, but also indicators of antisocial behavior. It is based on 4 basic principles, implying the creation of a school (and ideally home) environment, characterized by: • warmth, positive interest and involvement of adults; • firm boundaries and restrictions of unacceptable behavior; • consistent application of non-punitive, non-physical sanctions for unacceptable behavior and violation of the rules • the presence of adults acting as authorities and role models. The success of the Olveus program has received international recognition - it has already been partially implemented in England, the USA, Lithuania and other European countries. In Canada, which also pays close attention to the problem of bullying, a technique has been developed for the early detection of aggressiveness in children, which allows you to adjust the behavior of the child, preventing the manifestation of antisocial behavior in the future. And to prevent cyberbullying in the American city of Ontario, a tough and yet effective measure was taken - he who persecuted was expelled from school.WHO representatives also note a tendency to violence in children: hyperactive, impulsive, risk-averse, with a low level of control over their behavior, with distracted attention, manifested up to 13 years, low school performance. In this case, the prerequisites for the formation of aggressive behavior are: poor control by parents, the use of harsh physical punishments, low socio-economic status of the family.
Here and now
In our country, no one is systematically engaged in the protection and psychological rehabilitation of a child who has been the victim of bullying. Therefore, in order to pay attention to the problem and stop the persecution, parents must be persistent. First of all, a school psychologist should be informed about what is happening. The author of The Outcast Children explains: “The school psychologist is aware of everything that happens in the school. He can work with teachers, because they trust him and willingly cooperate; with a team of children - to learn to cooperate and understand each other, as well as with the parents of the persecutors. And finally, the school psychologist will be able to assess how much the victim needs additional therapy. ” In some cases, the only effective way to protect your child from further aggression is to transfer to another school. After all, the longer the persecution continues, the longer and more difficult will be the social adaptation. How can a bullying prevention and prevention strategy be built? School psychologist Marina Kravtsova sees it this way: 1. Assessment of the situation: how it all began, who is the instigator. 2. Diagnosis of the psychological climate of the team. 3. The development of a plan to stop bullying together with teachers - do not provoke (for example, disciplinary sanctions), do not leave children without supervision (often poison in locker rooms) .4. Work with parents: notify families of students about what is happening and discuss their behavior strategies with children. 5. To organize the so-called class rallying activities - conversations, trainings, joint overcoming of difficulties. For example, a campaign: the victim will have the opportunity to show himself in a different capacity.
6. Individual work with the victim, aggressors, instigators.
The consequences of bullying
Alas, bullying does not pass without a trace. And this applies to all participants. The former tormentors are characterized by severe anxiety, asocial traits, depression and various kinds of addictions are manifested. If it turns out that your child was among the aggressors, be sure to talk to him. On self-esteem, humanity, empathy and the influence of the crowd. He must understand that, following the collective’s lead, he risks taking the place of the persecuted tomorrow. Particular attention should be paid to helping victims of bullying. Psychologists equate the effects of bullying with post-traumatic stress. “It is difficult for such a person to build relationships with others and trust them,” adds Marina Kravtsova. “In addition, in certain circumstances, the ex-victim may become a persecutor herself, as if compensating for the humiliation experienced or for fear of a repeat of the situation.” Therefore, if your child suffered from bullying, you should immediately contact a psychologist. The specialist will help the teenager express all emotions and anxieties, get rid of fears, re-learn how to build relationships with others and resist aggression in the future.How can parents understand that their child has been targeted? According to school psychologist Marina Kravtsova, it is worthwhile to be wary if a teenager: is reluctant to go to school and is very glad of any opportunity not to go there; returns from school depressed; often cries for no apparent reason; speaks little about his school life; alone: does not know who you can call to learn the lessons; no one invites him to visit, on holidays.
Famous Bullying Victims
Kate Middleton was harassed at a prestigious school for girls. Classmates stole her homework from her, in the dining room they defiantly refused to sit at the same table. Therefore, one of the charitable organizations, where the newly made Duchess of Cambridge asked to donate money, was Beatbullying (helping children who were bullied).
Kristen Stewart. It was shooting in the movie that became the reason for the persecution of Kristen. Bullying classmates forced the girl at 13 to leave school.
Misha Barton after the family moved to New York, she became a victim of bullying. The reason for dissatisfaction was her disagreement with the sporting style adopted at school. However, after the release of the film The Sixth Sense, the attitude of classmates changed dramatically.
Lady Gaga. The school years of the singer were not cloudless. The whole fault is a big nose and fullness, which became the reason for banter. But today the “queen of outrageous" boasts a sports figure, while the other flaws are successfully masked by extraordinary and bright outfits.