Have I been jinxed?
We have been married for 7 years, all these years I endure my husband. He constantly humiliates me. Now we have three children. He’s no father. Recently they quarreled, after this quarrel my hands for a while seemed to be taken away. I was very scared. What should I do?
About the quality of your husband’s paternal skills, you made your judgment already at the birth of your first child. This did not stop giving birth to two more from him. So something keeps you near him. It is alarming that you are very emotionally reacting to it, up to psychosomatic reactions. If you are unbearable to live with him, leave! Set yourself this task, there are opportunities. After all, your health is in danger! If you do not solve the problem, the body will malfunction and put you to bed. Think about whether it’s time to take responsibility for your own life?
This year my husband and I are the eighth wedding anniversary. Two children. I took place as a woman and mother, a hard-working, loving husband: a fairy tale, not life! If ... not the mother-in-law. I have a feeling that she has jinxed me. I get sick after talking with her. She repeatedly asked her husband to protect me from my "mother." Chased him to her, he does not leave. How to be
In your letter, there is genuine horror in front of the “witchcraft” abilities of the mother-in-law. It's time to believe! But I doubt it. From the very beginning, you were carried away by clarifying the relationship and trying to defeat her, to break the attitude towards yourself. This can not be achieved by confrontation and resentment. Of course, the mother has a special, reverent attitude towards her son. Your mother-in-law has chosen your husband as the "main man of his life." But forcing a husband to choose between his mother and himself is the worst option for the development of such a conflict. Chasing him to his mother is completely impossible. This is for you the mother-in-law of another woman, spoiling your nerves. And for him - the most dear person.
Protect yourself from communication with her, limit yourself to conversations about weather-nature. At her first attempt to comment on the situation in your family, refer to employment and leave the conversation. The more emotionally involved you are in a conflict relationship, the harder it will be. Here you need to stop in time, accept that your mother-in-law is like that, and stop fighting. Your fear that mortal danger is coming from her is a wonderful way to protect yourself. Stop believing in her special abilities and insidiousness. Are you sure that she is filled with hatred for you. So be it! But it is her choice - to live with loved ones in hatred. And it will only be worse for her. She will feel her loss when she realizes that no one is participating in her war, and you do not notice her attacks. We are offended by those whom we recognize as equals. If you acknowledge that you and your mother-in-law are not equal in moral law and position, then insults will seem frivolous to you. More sense of humor and self-irony! Any problem is shorter than life!
The main life value for Russians is family and parenting (93%). Reliable friends (91%) are in second place, honest life (90%) in third.